From the dairy of a teenager: Conflicted Minds
Existence is at the core of every individual. It is often effortless to exist, and people always are led to believe that to exist is what they are here for. Existing is easy, but living is challenging and funny enough; it is for doing those challenging things that we exist.
Practically speaking, many people find it difficult to ‘live’, which is why the majority’s hollow and meaningless survival is a choice. Existence by lustful means of procreation and trying to give that empty sustenance a mere nomenclature of living is accomplished by everyone. They exist because they are scared, fearful of being different, and terrified of being alienated by their loved ones. Giving meaning to existence is often criticized by society, and sometimes the society is wrong, and, in a few cases, the societal criticism can be right as well. This inhibits people from taking a step toward the process that promises to end their shallow existence into youthful living. These baseless fears are the reason why unique minds remain undiscovered.
When the existence is struck with the idea of living – the idea that empowers the individual to visualize that there is a way to come out of the current dire survival and turn it into something grand, generous, turn it into living – that is when there is a cyclone of confusion in mind. Actions reflect the state of mind, and those cyclones, in a sense, affect the individual’s life, affecting the lives of people connected. The mind in that phase is in between chaotic mental confusion, simultaneously experiencing a pull on two opposite sides, tearing it apart.
On one side is the mere existence, which has been accompanying the individual till the day that mind was struck with the idea of ‘living’. In contrast, on the other side, pulling the mind with equal force is the anxiety of the future, the calling of destiny, which is far better than the present poor quality of existence. Still, it is usually unknown, and that is why often fearful.
It is a tough battle of the awakened mind.
No matter which side wins, the mind will lose, and no matter which side loses, the same mind will win. Beyond this arduous mountain of wins and losses is the road to the destination, which leads to fulfilling your reason to live and not simply exist. The victory of either side is a result of multiple factors – factors which are seldom in control of the individual. The conflicted mind faces strong opposition from the decaying society and its equally decadent morals, which are designed to trick and pull the mind into the depths of ethical deceit and comforting lies. All of it favors winning the empty existence. In many instances, these moral lies disregard the newly struck idea, make the mind oblivious to it and tempt the conflicted mind by luring it with false happiness. The eyes are closed and often shown with – what qualifies in the principles of deceitful existence as – images of a ‘happy life, over and over till the mind accepts that illusion as reality. It is led to believe that it is ‘normal’ and ‘normal is good.’ Normal is what everyone is, and it is what everyone should be. The mind is programmed to trust that being non-normal amongst normal people is like an infection – disrupting healthy cellular activity by invading a foreign body. The reality played like an overused tape in the existential part of the mind is often fabricated. If the external forces pull back the conflicted mind to the declining morals of society, back to a meaningless existence, change fails to occur. The mind never leaves the falsely comfortable chair to find a worthy throne of truth.
The other side that pulls the mind and which is often alone – the new side, the unknown possibly better future, often mysterious – is the desire or calling. The calling is the reason for the creation of the mind and the desire to fulfil its destiny. Enormous strength is required to go towards it, and pulling out the mind from the past is like pulling out a tree; the roots branched deep into the soil. Pulling them out is never without a grievous consequence.
Great courage is required to let go of things held dear to my heart throughout the existence. It is something with which the mind is pampered and kept comfortable, like a cozy winter night. On the other hand, living life feels like a summer day on barren land. While a good night’s sleep is required in existence, hard work is essential in living, and weak minds falter at that thought. Tremendous self-courage, inner strength and immovable faith are necessary, which will help the conflicted mind choose its purpose and fully let go of the past. It is very new and uncomfortable for the mind in the new living. The way is often challenging and full of hurdles.
Except for the belief in the inner calling, there is nothing that can keep the mind going towards the unknown and on the unexplored ways. There are no trails to be followed here but trails to be created. The eyes are not covered with pleasant images, but they witness the harsh reality, and only a strong mind can see it and still believe that the future holds something better. Tough minds are essential in these perilous journeys because the ultimate gift of all of them is worth all hardships undertook.
Existential survival may seem rewarding according to the cancerous ideals of society, but the end of the empty survival is always shallow and abysmal. The mind is fooled and led to believe that the purpose of creation is successfully over. The mind does not die a graceful death. It only ceases to exist, and during those last few moments, the mind is filled with inconsequential regrets about not going after the calling. Do not let it cease to exist; let it die gracefully like a warrior on a battlefield, wounded but strong, covered in the blood rather than deceit and lies.
There is a calling for everyone in life. Some realize it early while others realize it late, and still, others never realize it because when encountered with such a question of reason of existence, the mind is incapable of dealing with it. It overshadows the eyes and falsely consoles the heart that it is okay to avoid change. It achieves this by scaring the mind about the unknown future. It is the inner courage that shakes up the mind and makes it realize that being comfortable is not its destiny, obeying the lies of the world is not its purpose and staying in the illusionary world of ethical treachery. Even the simple realization of the mind that it is missing its purpose is a wake-up call. It fumbles in the self-inflicted darkness to search for the light. It may seem unreal for a while to find the light, to find the purpose of life, but once the mind develops faith in the purpose of life, the eyes slowly start adjusting to the darkness, and things slowly begin to take shape.
The fabricated deception which closes our eyes will be there forever. Only those who can open their eyes, see the harsh reality, experience unimaginable hurdles, and keep moving on towards their calling will make a difference in their crumbling existence. Only the unconflicted, clear minds will triumph, while those with illusions of grandeur with closed eyes, unaware of consistently approaching death and wasting their precious little time, will wither away in their existence. They are being swept away in the turbulent water of time while they debate on what to wear. Even though you may not know what your calling is, be aware of the fact that you are not here to survive the routine. You are here to be different and set a pattern. Your dreams will become your new reality when you realize that your existing reality is a nightmare.