Anger Management

Expressing your anger can be achieved by talking loudly, yelling at someone, threatening someone, sending unwanted texts, emails, or developing health problems – neither of which are constructive. This article aims not to tell you that you should push your anger deep down and bury it but to manage it so that you can use it productively.

It’s not about not getting angry but managing that anger. Managing anger also means coping with it by recognizing it and expressing it in a less deteriorating, more healthy, and productive manner. Anger management is an essential skill, and even if you know everything there is to know about anger management, there is always a little room for improvement.

Let’s get to the basics.

What is Anger Management?

Anger management effectively manages unexpressed anger and its after-effects like aggressive behavior, negative thoughts, or feelings expressed in a non-negative and less hurtful way.

Need for anger management

The primary reason to manage anger is that it is a negative emotion. Anger can be anything from mild irritation to a full-blown rage attack.

Anger can help you to fight with someone or to fight for someone. Anything can be a medicine if taken in the correct dose. But if the dose exceeds, then it becomes a poison. If left unchecked and unmanaged, anger can lead to yelling, damaging someone’s property, hurting someone physically or emotionally, hurting self emotionally or physically, and harmful, detrimental effects on long-term health and well-being.

It is a problem when anger is highly intense, and the method of expression is not healthy. That is precisely when it takes a toll physically, emotionally, and socially.

Need for anger management can also be seen in the 2022 Oscars in the Will smith – Chris Rock incident.

Anger management strategies

1. Think before you speak

You might feel like saying something in the heat of the moment. What you say may or may not be correct, but it is vital that you stop yourself, collect your thoughts, and then say something to someone. Silence, of course, would be the best option, but if you cannot silence yourself, then at least take a break. A slight pause or a break before you speak can enlighten you, facilitate your thought process, and reduce your anger.

2. Take a break

Taking a break is pretty important for anger management. Whenever you are talking to somebody, if something triggers your anger, then before replying, be conscious and take a break. More often than not, replies made in anger lead to long-term regrets.

Having a few moments to yourself to think before you reply could save you long-term damage. It is not necessary that every reply should be made within seconds. Even if you are right, take a few moments to compose yourself and then – if necessary- speak.

3. Identify and Isolate triggers

A person who has issues with anger management will have certain triggers which will aggravate his problem. Consciously trace the incidences when your anger was out of control and think about what led to that outbreak. What is the common thread in all situations that made you lose your temper, or was there a common point that someone said hit a nerve?

Try to find out a common factor in all of the incidents and determine the reason that triggered you. It is not uncommon to think that all triggers are external and beyond your control, but if you think hard at the micro-level, there should be a core reason that sparks your temper. Identify it, isolate it, and work on it so that the next time someone nudges that weak spot, you don’t boil your blood even by accident.

4. Exercise

Regular physical activity reduces stress which can help you to stay calm. Exercise can be of any type, from running a marathon to a quiet yoga session; the objective of the exercise is to jack up your heart rate or calm it down. A brisk walk or a short run can help you generate endorphins, also known as the feel-good hormones. It is a well-established fact that regular workouts and exercise can help to reduce your temper in the long run.

5. Meditation

Meditation is a long-term solution for managing your anger. Unlike most solutions, meditation is not an instant answer or a solution to anger issues. Instead, it helps to calm you down in the long run.

Regular meditation of about 10 to 15 minutes every morning is the best thing you can do to calm yourself down and hold yourself together in those moments of stress. Meditation improves circulation and mental health. Blood circulation is directly affected by anger. Meditate to practice your relaxation skills during those moments of stress. Whenever something triggers your anger, consciously tell yourself to calm down and remember the meditation routine. It will help you with stress release and develop a healthy mind.

6. Do not hold a grudge

Holding grudges against someone is like holding a hot iron in your hand. It burns yourself as well. Forgiving is very important. People make mistakes, and people err. Anger breeds negativity, and if you hold anger against someone, it will fill you with all the negative thoughts and emotions about the particular person or a situation.

The moment feels dark and defeated. You might think that you are angry beyond imagination because of an injustice committed against you but remember to express it in a way that does not hurt anybody. An eye for an eye is not the answer in every situation. Forgiving someone will not only help to resolve the problem but also will help you to heal your anger.

7. Know when you need help

Despite putting in all the efforts, the results may not be as fruitful as you want them to be. An outburst of anger that hurts someone physically or has troubled you and your loved ones all the time needs to be addressed professionally. If you are getting in trouble against other all the time because of your anger or if you are hurting others physically or emotionally and driving people away from you then, it is important that you need a professional help.

Anger management classes are one way to go about it, and you can also join an individual or a group therapy. These sessions explore and identify the core reason behind your anger and try to address them.

Conclusion: Anger management is essential for channeling the anger in a more productive and less destructive way. There are several long term and short term strategies for effective anger management and the primary need for it is to acknowledge and embrace the need for anger management. Watching the 2003 movie of same name can be a good start!